I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
