haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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