Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
