Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
