I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Randomize
