i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
