I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
