Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
