Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
