dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
