about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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