i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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