i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
