what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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