I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
