Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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