It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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