wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
