Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
as a side note pls kill me
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
