return my video game
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
