Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We were destined to go to rehab together
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
