I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize