forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
