Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
