The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We got so high we made milksteak
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
