Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
