There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
