can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
