why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
He kissed a someone with a penis
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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