Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
