so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
