She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
