I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
