Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
