i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
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