Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
