His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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