I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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