school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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