you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
