She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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