We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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