For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
where does the pee come out of this thing
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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