my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
