just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
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