Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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