Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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