But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
