i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
