the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
