some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
he thought i was a dude.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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