fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
